Izzy I'm 18. I can go anywhere I want.
Shaineh Yeah, but where you gonna live when you get back?
Scully "Dear Special Agent Mulder, I'm writing to you for help. Several years ago I had an experience I could not explain. I was lying in my bed when I felt a presence in the room. Though I was awake, I felt that something had taken control over my body. I don't remember much else but I woke up three days later pregnant with my son, Izzy. That was 18 years ago, but now it happened again. I was in bed and could swear I heard Cher singing -- the one who was married to Sonny. Then the room got all smoky, and I saw some kind of monster. He had a really gross face with lumps all over his head. I was too scared to scream. Then I got all groggy and conked out for three days. Guess what happened when I woke up? I got your name off the TV. Some lady on the Jerry Springer show who had a werewolf baby said you came to her house. Well, I got her story beat by a mile so maybe you'll want to come see me, too. Sincerely, Shaineh Berkowitz."
Mulder Scully, do you think it's too soon to get my own 1-900 number?
Shaineh You know what this thing is, don't you Agent Mulder?
Mulder Why do you say that?
Shaineh 'Cause you're acting all quiet and stuff. And you know something you're not saying - about alien abductions. They said on the Jerry Springer show you're like an expert.
Mulder Well, I don't think this has anything to do with alien abductions. I don't even know if I believe in that stuff anymore.
Shaineh These are agents Mulder and Scully from the FBI.
Izzy The Federal Bureau of Investigation?
Scully Psychologists often speak of the denial of an unthinkable evil or a misplacement of shared fears. Anxieties taking the form of a hideous monster for whom the most horrific human attributes can be ascribed. What we can't possibly imagine ourselves capable of we can blame on the ogre, on the hunchback, on the lowly half-breed. But common sense alone will tell you that these legends, these unverified rumors are ridiculous.
Mulder But nonetheless, unverifiable, and therefore true in the sense that they're believed to be true.
Scully Is there anything that you don't believe in, Mulder?
Pollidori If you two will excuse me, I really don't have time for this. I have to travel tonight to the University of Ingolstadt to deliver an international address.
Scully Sir, unless you want your scientific achievements to end up as a footnote on the Jerry Springer Show, I suggest that you make the time.
Pollidori Jerry Springer Show?
Pollidori What we have found ... what I have found is that these segments represent a linear model for the genetic development of our friend the fly. Each gene is responsible for the development of its corresponding segment: the legs, the mouth, the body, posterior and anterior. But which I, through my genius, can alter into a creation of my own. Behold: Proboscopedia.
Mulder This fly has legs ...
Scully ... growing out of its mouth.
Mulder Why would you do that?
Pollidori Because I can. [Lightning flashes.]
Mulder Good night, Dr. Frankenstein.
Mulder But, given the power, who could resist the temptation to create life in his own image?
Scully We already have that ability, Mulder. It's called "procreation."
Mulder Do you own a tape recorder, Izzy?
Izzy Um ...
Shaineh Christmas 1993!!!
Mulder When Victor Frankenstein asks himself "Whence did the principle of life proceed?" and then as a gratifying summit to his toils creates a hideous phantasm of a man, he prefigures the post-modern Prometheus, the genetic engineer whose power to reanimate matter - genes - into life - us - is only as limited as his imagination is.
Scully Mulder, Iím alarmed that you would reduce this man to a literary stereotype. A mad scientist.
Mulder [holding the empty peanut butter jar] I think we found our smoking gun.
Shaineh How would you like your face to intercept my fist, coconut head?
Scully We're not going to hurt you. Do you think he understands?
Mulder I hope not.
Scully He looks frightened.
Pollidori That repulsive physiognomy is the vilest perversion of science.
Mulder Created by whom?
Pollidori A pale student of my most hallowed arts whose life was taken by that which he gave life. By his own horrible creation. By that monstrosity that you see before you.
Shaineh Who's he taking about?
Pollidori My father.
Mutato Because I couldn't go to school or play sports or even show my face outside this farm, my father set out to learn his son's science so that before he died, he might create for me a mate.
Shaineh Uh oh.
Mutato Alas, my father was a simple man. His heart close to the soil he worked, the animals he tended ... The experiments he attempted too advanced for his understanding. The results of his experiments ... unsatisfactory.
Shaineh I still ... you mean, Izzy ... but who's the father?
[A pig grunts.]
Mutato What we did was wrong, but in our trespasses we gave you a loving son and in your homes I went places I'd never dreamed of. With your books, and your records and home media centres, I learned of the world and of a mother's love that I'll never know. Cher loved that boy so much.
Izzy Hey ... he's no monster.
Scully We should go, Mulder. The prisoner's in the car.
Mulder This is all wrong, Scully. This is not how the story is supposed to end.
Scully What do you mean?
Mulder Dr. Frankenstein pays for his evil ambitions, yes. But the monster's supposed to escape to go search for his bride.
Scully There's not going to be any bride, Mulder. Not in this story.
Mulder Well, where's the writer? I want to speak to the writer.
Jerry Springer Tell me something, is it ... is it hard to love these babies?
Shaineh What's not to love?